Cyber Chocolate

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

I received this in an email from a friend. An apology of sorts to start out New Year's Resolutions Right. I read it twice, first time from a point of Arrogance, the second from Humble Self-awareness. This friend has at times during our friendship been my mentor, and I at other times have been hers. Her acknowledgement that she has on occasion led me wrong, due to her own arrogance, gave me strength to accept the apology and eat my own slice of Humble Pie.

Relationships often wear a common thread. A person is either the teacher or the student. I find more often than not, although I feel I'm a very bright person, I'm the student. When I step back from a situation, I often find I've learned an important lesson, and often that lesson is to prepare for the fundamental foundation of understanding that the person I am trusting to teach me something may not be as smart as that person appears.

When I experience failure in myself, I can accept it readily, I'm human. When I experience failure from another person, one who points a jagged finger in my direction, I often have a harder time accepting their failures. I feel wounded and frustrated, particularly if it's left to me to confront that person. Confrontation is not my style. I have a tendancy to prefer to simply forgive the person and accept their weaknesses.

Humble Pie must be chocolate, it tastes rather good.

Tip: Arrogance and self-awareness seldom go hand-in-hand.

Over the years I have learned that there are some things that work really
well together. Peanut butter and jelly make a really good sandwich and so
does a hamburger with lettuce and tomato. However, I do not think that
putting lettuce and tomato on a peanut butter and jelly sandwich would
taste very good. You see, there are some things that work well together and
some that do not.

It has been my experience that when I meet someone who is actually aware of
the effect that their personality style and behavior has on others, they
seem to also be a humble and insightful person. However, when I meet an
arrogant person who is "full of themselves", I have observed that they lack
the skill to accurately assess their own behavior and abilities. Arrogance
just does not allow a person the ability to be very insightful or aware of
their own behavior.

The one who would be wise must first be humble. Everyone you meet knows at
least one thing that you do not know. Therefore, they can instantly become
your teacher. Even though you may be the most skilled professional in a
particular area, I can assure you that there are many areas about which you
know very little.

I once heard Zig Ziglar say that he got his car stuck and had to call a tow
truck to come pull it out of the mud. When the driver arrived, Zig noticed
that he was just a teenager. He thought to himself, "I don't know if this
kid possesses the necessary skill to pull my car out of this mud or not."
The young man asked Zig for his car keys. He jumped in the front seat,
turned the car on and "rocked" it back and forth a couple of times. Then he
drove it right out of the mud! He had done it with such ease that the young
man was embarrassed for Zig. In fact, the teenager began to make excuses
for him by saying, "Sir, sometimes these things really are easier than they
look and I just got lucky. I won't even charge you for this."

Zig said it was amazing to think that he is an expert in the area of
leadership training and motivational speaking yet knows very little about
getting a car out of a mud hole. That teenage boy knew very little about
motivational speaking but he knew everything about humility, kindness ? and
getting cars out of the mud!

I believe it is a fact of life that when a person demonstrates a spirit of
humility and is not arrogant, they become open to new ideas and insights.
On the other hand, when a person has a "know-it-all" attitude, the
possibilities for new insights and wisdom immediately evaporate. You cannot
expect to have good insight and self-awareness if you are an arrogant
person. The two just do not make a very good "sandwich" together.

I have been incredibly blessed in my lifetime to have had the opportunity
to graduate from five different colleges or universities. Yet, rather than
being arrogant about how much I know, I am truly humbled by how much there
is to know and how little of that vast body of knowledge I actually
possess. I am a life-long learner. That is a much better position to take
than being a "know-it-all."

Seek to raise your awareness of your own behaviors and the abilities of
others this week. Be open to learn from them things that perhaps you know
very little about. It will be an encouragement to them and a blessing to
you.

Tip: Arrogance and self-awareness seldom go hand-in-hand.

Have a great week! God bless you!
Robert Rohm Ph.D.
Personality Insights, Inc.

posted by Jan Verhoeff @ 5:15 AM

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